Me First

The baby needed to be fed,
burped, bathed, and put to bed.
The kitchen needed cleaning
The dishes needed washing
The clothes needed folding
And I have been feigning
Bubble baths;
Candlelit.
And might I add—
Wine.
The kind that will calm my nerves.
Smooth and sweet.
It puts me to bed;
Do not disturb…
Or give me unlimited writing sessions
Slowly working my way into my new profession
Filling every page like some kind of obsession.
I’m guessin’
You think I’m selfish.
I have this burning desire
To care for myself
The way I care for my kids.
I deserve it.
I’m more than a mother
And I’m worth it.
I earned it.
Cut the petty shit.
It’s not your business so
Find your way out of it.
I’m better than this.
No explanations for the decisions I make.
I’m stronger than you think,
No complaining with every ache.
I put myself aside,
I provide my undivided attention
To the people I love.
I’ve been nothing but selfless
But today, it’s about me.
I’m going to take my bubble bath
And enjoy some laughs
With a glass in my hand
Filled with liquid courage,
Guiltless.
I will pass out underneath
My white, plush sheets
Escaping my thoughts
And entering my dreams

Reality

I’m an extremely expressive person. 
I don’t hide how I feel inside
I take pride in my emotions
I will not disguise myself behind a lie
I’d rather not cause a commotion
Negativity used to get the best of me
Until I realized positivity is the best for me
I refuse to waste energy on what society 
May think of me and my family
Animosity seems to be a trend
And people are skillful at playing pretend
When it comes to being a friend 
I wonder when it will end 
Generosity has become harder to find
And people have become stingy with time
Constantly focused on making a dime
While our brother’s committing a crime 
Our generation is losing its mind.

Imperfectly Flawed

I am flawed. I’m not perfect.
Looking back at my life, now I know it was worth it.
Awaiting a happy ending, I knew I deserved it.
A life full of blessings without having earned it.
And then there was love.
I thought I had learned it.
I was wrong.
Pouring my heart out in every song
Written in tears that I’ve cried for so long
Feeling weak when they’d tell me I’m strong
I couldn’t understand it…
It felt like love always took me for granted
Never turned out the way I had planned it
I couldn’t stand it.